Yesterday was a great day. Met Jedi @PIM, he was so ... neat, stunning, he looks real good! :) He asked me to dressed beautiful, but I guess I cant. Coz he didnt say a thing. Well, maybe I 'm just plain. Sigh. But anyway, we had a great time together. I accompanied him to campus, then we had lunch together. I just love spending time with him. It feels so precious.
He said that he missed me yesterday .. and asked me to go out to KFC. I think it's a sincere invitation. But I was in a middle of a conversation with mom, so I said that I cant.

But he's kinda busy lately, so i suppose his feelings bout missing me will vapour through thin air. When he got better things to think about, he wont think that he misses me. Is that it? I deserve that? Maybe coz I'm the 2nd woman, that way ... I cant get my full right. It hurts to think about it. The proof is ... he didnt even call me today. But maybe it's becoz his parents 'r around. You cant blame him.

Sigh!! After redesigned Ope's project, I realized that my 'design by thinking' book is being borrowed by Indri. I need that book right now. I asked bout my book, and she said that she's busy for 2 days ahead. So she asked when i will come by and collect it. Dont know why, but I felt so mad!! Oh well, enough about that. I'm over it.

Holiday is coming & I feel like crying. I remembered the letter that I once gave to Jedi, that 8pages letter. That letter didnt change a thing. And I'm sure ... everything I've done for him wont change a thing. He gives & takes whenever he feels like it. He never felt obligated, sorry ... he simply dont care. I feel like falling apart ... with nobody gives a damn about it.

Without knowing, they made me framed myself as a failure, useless, BIG nothing, ugly, unworthy & pathetic!!! They might even curse my existence. Even my friends abandoned me. They lost their love for me.